Blog Post #9

Blog Post #9- Considering the adoptee in birthparent reunions

I really enjoyed the speakers we had on Wednesday. They were extremely passionate and focused, presenting a powerful argument in favor of open adoption ethics. I was so happy to see that it pushed Linda over the edge, so that she now has the courage to search for her birthmother. It seemed likely that that would happen, as the last time we heard Linda speak she made it pretty clear that she was on the fence and just needed a push.

The important piece that I think we need to keep in the back of our minds in order to put Wednesday’s speakers in proper prospective is that this is a view exclusively from the birthmother’s point of view. If we think back to the original lecture that we heard on open adoption issues, we can recall that Mary (Linda’s co-presenter) said that the relationship between a birthmother and an adoptee is easier for the birthmother, it satisfies her “curiosity.” She said that it’s the adoptee whose left to navigate the new complex social relationships. Our reading at the time from Anita Allen reiterated the point, saying that “while birth parent involvement may be a blessing in some instances…it may also be a stressor, and a curse,” (63). Our presenters on Wednesday very lightly touched on their relationships with their daughters, saying that they’ve had contact and all is well. This is the complex relationship that can often cause problems, and that’s not something that our presenters covered on Wednesday. It’s an important fact to keep in mind as we consider the pros and cons of open adoption. More simply put: on Wednesday we heard some very big pros, lets not forget the cons.

I don’t mean to be a downer. I thought that our speakers views of open adoption, particularly the simple fact that removing the constitutional right to access a personal birth certificate seems extremely unethical. I loved their contributions to our learning, I just would have loved to hear more about their relationships with their daughters.

Adam K.