The Homestudy Questionnaire (blogpost 1)

Knowing little about the adoption process, I was previously unaware of the homestudy and the home-study questionnaire. There were a number of questions that appeared to be easy to answer, like who lives in your house, what is your job, and what are your financial assets (CHSFS Homestudy Questions). However, there were other questions that I am not sure I would really think about without someone prompting me to, these are the questions that I would find difficult to answer. It does not seem as though it would be difficult to come up with an answer, the difficulty, for me at least, would lie in the anxiety I would feel in coming up with the answer I would think as the “right one,” or the one that would allow me to adopt a child. I would imagine that someone going through this process could potentially spend hours agonizing over their responses, second guessing what they have said, wondering how their answers will be interpreted by those who hold the fate of their future adoption in their hands.

            I found it interesting that many of the questions asked of the prospective adoptive parents are somewhat similar to those one may be asked in a job interview. The questions that asked you to do some self-reflection and maybe even address certain aspects of your life that are kind of automatic. “How do you communicate?” or “How do you make decisions?” (CHSFS Homestudy Questions) I fell as though some of those aspects of a relationship are innate or are something that comes about organically throughout the course of a relationship. I think that these are interesting question because they would make you actually stop and think, “oh, how do we or I do that?” Also, I think, through talking about things like that it could potentially strengthen a relationship, and in turn possibly make family even stronger and better adoptive parents.   

            An interesting question that was posed as part of the blogpost prompt was, “should non-adoptive parents have to go through a similar reflection process?” I found this an interesting idea to entertain. I work at a pool over the summer, and have seen some, what I would consider questionable, parenting styles. I am positive that on more than one occasion one of my coworkers or myself has muttered, “you should need to take a test to have a kid.” This question also prompted me to approach these questions not only from the side of an adoptive parent, but as from the side of the social worker. While being a parent is undoubtedly a huge responsibility, I started to also consider the pressure and anxiety that the social worker and people at the adoption agency must feel when considering placing a child with a family. These aren’t concerns that, to me at least, seem to be considered when a couple has a child of their own. Rarely are the couples’ communication skills questioned, or the values assessed. At the end of the day they have a kid whether or not they will be good par and loving parents. It seems to me to be another one of the situations that points out how unfair life can be. It’s unfair the there are people out there that desperately want to love and parent a child and will never get that opportunity because of bureaucracy, biology, or quirks of the legal system. These people are individuals that would be wonderful parents, and on the other hand there are people out there that are able to have children that are less than stellar parents. I fully understand that the world is flawed and can be incredibly unfair sometimes, but after thinking about all of this for awhile I can’t get over how much I wish that the world would be fair at least in this regard. I wish that people that want and would make good parents would get to be parents, and I wish that all kids were able to get the loving homes and families that they deserve. I wish that kids and parents stuck in crappy situations on both sides found circumstances that would benefit both the children and the parents to the fullest extent.

            The thought process that this assignment provoked made me realize even more how amazing adoption is. How it changes nearly everyone involved lives, I would imagine and hope, for the better.