It certainly took some imagination, but as I went deeper and
deeper into the mindset of a prospective adoptive parent, I started to
understand how this form would cause a twinge of awkward feelings. It’s always
a bit weird to be evaluated, but we’re used to that in our jobs and schoolwork.
I don’t know anyone, however, who’s used to being evaluated in his or her
personal relationships. Can you imagine if your friend sat down with you to
discuss your performance over the past six months for your role as “buddy?”
With that being said, while it may be awkward to be evaluated as a prospective
parent, I do believe it is an essential service, if the child is a ward of the
state. In a situation such as foster care, there is no legal guardian who is
there to look out for the best interests of the child and make sure that a
proper home is chosen, so this responsibility falls to the state. Furthermore,
I DO believe that it would be a useful exercise for all potential parents,
because a sad fact of this world is that many children suffer by being born
into unfit families. However, no person has or deserves the power to dictate
the process of child bearing, so this remains only an ideal and never a
reality.
I felt that many of the questions on this questionnaire were
fair and important. Sections 2-5 center around the living conditions in which
the child will be reared, which is of course of the utmost importance. While
some parents may differ in ideologies, by screening for parenting style,
agencies may be able to catch problematic situations (if the parents are honest
enough with their answers). The one question that surprised me was “What has
been the most difficult situation you have experienced?” I guess it could shed
light on a parent’s ability to react to stressful situations, but at this
point, it seems more like a job interview to me than an adoption review.
All in all, I found the questions to be fairly
straightforward and relevant. I believe that the awkwardness and anxiety
parents feel throughout this process is simply due to their utmost desire to
finally bring their new child home. While it is surely difficult for prospective
parents to go through this process, I think it is an essential process for
finding problem situations that may harm a child’s well being.
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ReplyDeleteGraded Reply, Julie T.
ReplyDeleteWhen I began reading your post I realized how I had not considered the awkwardness that could ensue from a review of this sort. Not only would it be hard, but it would truly be awkward to have someone come into your house, ask you multiple personal questions about your life, and then tell you if you will or will not be allowed to be a parent. I believe most of the awkwardness stems from the fact that no birth parent has to do this. It seems a bit unfair, however necessary, for prospective adoptive parents to have to take this home study. This leads me to agree with what you said about birth parents being required to take the same questionnaire; however ideal it may be, it will never be a reality.
I continued reading your post and I found your ideas on a prospective parent’s living conditions and parenting styles to be similar to my own ideas on the matter. In the overview of the University of Minnesota study done on nature versus nurture, Susan Freivalds mentioned how adopted and non-adopted siblings typically are similar in behavior due to parental influence. This supports the idea that a parent’s parenting style, be it with an adopted child or a child by birth, will greatly affect how a child will develop and behave. The question on what a person’s parenting style is should be extremely influential on the decision to allow a person to adopt. I agree that not only this question, but all of the questions in the home study may be difficult but are also essential for protecting a child’s well-being.
-Julie T.
Reply Post 1: Steve C
ReplyDeleteAdam, I thought your opening paragraph was very eye opening. It would be tough to sit down with your spouse and talk about your personal relationship and evaluate and critique each other about their lifestyle choices. Nonetheless, I think it is extremely important to do so if you are considering raising a child together that you are potentially about to adopt. I took this homestudy questionnaire more as a reflective exercise and to fully understand what your values/goals/expectations etc. are. I think it is extremely important for communication to be present in all areas in a situation where you will be adding a family member to your household. I agree that this homestudy asks some valid and important questions, but I also think that it probably helps ‘break the ice’ and develops questions and discussions that need to be discussed by the couple that is adopting the child. I felt like this was displayed to some degree during our class lecture with everyone chiming in about comments and concerns about the homestudy questionnaire in class. Obviously it is a requirement for it to be filled out by both parents/guardians involved in the adoption process so it needs to be completed to move forward with the adoption.
Overall, I agree with your thought process about the reason behind certain questions. When I first took it myself I was puzzled by a few questions too, and wondered how I could even go about answering them. You have some good insight though and well thought out analysis of this process.
-Steve C