Blog Post #5

Before this course, I hadn’t really considered open vs. closed adoptions as an issue. I guess I assumed that adoptees would want to find their parents at some point in their lives, and whether they succeed or not depends on the circumstances of their birthparents lives. I never once considered that adoptees in some cases actually don’t have the right to search for their birthparents. As our course has progressed, the complexity of this issue becomes clear.

The best argument I have heard for open adoptions comes from a combination of points made by Linda as well as Pertman. Pertman correctly points out that a mother’s right to anonymity means that an adoptee has no right to their legal birth certificate or blood relatives “even though everyone else in America can freely do so,” (104). Linda added valuable weight to that claim when she told the story of getting her license at 16, when the DMV staff assumed her birth certificate was a fake and would not accept it. Having an original birth certificate that can be used in legally binding capacities is a right of birth, and nobody should be able to take that away, especially for a reason that is totally out of the control of the adoptee. While it is obviously important to know your family and roots, if only out of “curiosity,” I feel that the more important aspect of this is that a fundamental right is being infringed.

The best argument I have heard for closed adoptions come from Allen and Mary’s points. Mary said very passionately that open adoptions “are not in the best interest of the child. They make the adults feel better, but it’s the kids who will have to negotiate those relationships for the rest of their lives.” As Mary has had a difficult relationship with her birthmother, she sometimes wishes that she were not forced to deal with the difficult dynamics that these relationships present. Allen reiterates the point, when she says, “while birth parent involvement may be a blessing in some instances…it may also be a stressor and curse,” (63). I imagine it is extremely difficult to have such a complex family relationship; maybe it is just more simple to leave the nuclear family alone.

My opinion lies somewhere in the middle of these opposing viewpoints. My approach would be to give adoptees their basic rights, but also give them the option of keeping relationships closed if they desire. That means 100% valid birth certificates and adequate (anonymous, if need be) medical history from day one. Records should also be opened when the birthmother dies, rather than closed forever. These are basic rights and should not be compromised. When it comes to the open or closed nature of adoptions, Linda put it best: it should be easier for the adoptees. Certainly birthparents should be protected if that is their utmost wish, but a birthparent should not be able to drop in on an adoptees life. I approve of the current third party approval system for birthparents finding adoptees, but I believe that adoptees should be able to contact their birthparents directly without approval. If their birthparents wish to maintain secrecy, they can deny contact personally, rather than having to go through an intermediary. This approach puts the child first, which should have been the policy to begin with.

Adam K.